Dear JT,

I have a date tomorrow night with a young lady I just met, and OMG I’m so excited! However, when I was going through her garbage I found some medical records that suggest she is allergic to Rohypnol. I don’t want to make her vomit so early in the evening. Help! Are there any substitutes available?

KB

Dear KB,

You didn’t happen to hire a new “administrative assistant” recently? There’s something so familiar, and yet disturbing, about your inquiries. I’m intrigued. I’ve always had a curiosity about sociopaths.  How they can assume one seemingly normal persona during the day, and then be future husband material by night. I traced your ISP. I thought it might bring us closer to begin stalking you now. Unfortunately, I see you live out of state. How do you feel about long distance romances? I don’t have a very strong stomach, but am willing to experiment.

I wonder if you could fill in just a few more details. I need to know your height, weight, hair and eye color. Any distinguishable features such as facial hair, glasses, scars or tattoos. Your home address, place of employment, and I’d really appreciate auto and driver’s license numbers. Do you happen to carry, btw? I love a man who can defend me. Hurry and get back to me ASAP.  Day or night.

Yours Truly,

JT

If you have a question for JT, send it to wtfwjtd@gmail.com