Dear JT,

Lately, I’ve noticed things in my house have been moved or misplaced.  I thought that someone might be coming into my house while I’m at work. Except now, instead of things being missing, I’m finding stuff that doesn’t even belong to me, specifically toys of a rubbery/silicone variety. There’s also strange fur everywhere. I’m wondering if my dog is up to some kind of shenanigans during the day. What I want to know is, is it ethical to put one of those live feed camera collars around his neck?  Or am I just being paranoid?

K9TV

Dear K9TV,

Ethical?  What am I now, PETA? It’s a dog, not the women’s restroom.

So he has a little buddy over while you’re gone and they chew on wienies and wrestle on the carpet. Big fucking deal. Your dog doesn’t know the difference between a kong and dong. It was big and squishy, for christ’s sake.

As for the camera, really? Did you think this one through? Do you not get enough carpet scooching and ball licking in person? This is exactly why I only get female dogs.  They may be bitchier, even a little aggressive at times, but when they lick it’s to get the job done, not just because they can.

Leave your dog alone and worry about your own junk.

JT

Wanna bitch? Email JT nicely and maybe she’ll give you one of hers. Her dog that is. wtfwjtd@gmail.com!