Dear JT,
I have really had it with people that feel the need to text while they drive. I was coming up to an intersection the other day, and there was a woman sitting at the green light with her phone in her hand texting away. I honked and slammed on my brakes which caused me to drop my ipod in my chocolate sundae that I was eating, and the Mardi Gras mascara that I was applying flew out the window. I got so shook up that I had to light a cigarette and pour myself a drink as soon as I hit the freeway. After I set my cruise control, I crawled in the backseat and changed my pants. How do we make people more aware about safe driving on the road?
A.Y.
A.Y.
Now this just pisses me off. Does she not have any idea how much mascara costs? I don’t have any idea, but I bet it’s not cheap. To so wantonly, so carelessly, disregard the importance of looking amazing. This small, but dexterous minority, are turning the female population into something ugly and unspeakable. We will not turn a blind eye and allow this to happen. That is why we here at funblog headquarters, have come together to put an end to this horrific practice, by supporting Mascara Awareness Day. Ban Intersection Texting Chick Haters, or M.A.D.B.I.T.C.H. We will be promoting this campaign for 3-5 days each month. Please donate generously.
JT
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Hey JT – Good advice, although I feel I must also address the “going in the backseat to change the pants” part. Having often changed pants while driving, I can attest to the fact that no seat change is necessary. One must only be able to lift one’s hips up off of the seat while not hitting the steering wheel with the pelvis. As I age, I admit this becomes more difficult, but can still be accomplished. Good luck with your column, and let me know if you ever need a life coach.