Dear JT,

I sometimes find myself playing air guitar on my leg while driving, which is fun, but a trucker once saw me and made fun of me. Do I need to break this bad habit?

Guitar Hero

Dear GH,

Unless this is a euphemism for whipping your dick out in traffic, this is by far one of the more stupid questions I have ever received. But yes, break your fucking habit. I don’t give a shit about any trucker making fun of you, but I don’t want to see that thing while I’m driving in my truck. Not a fan of getting sideswiped either when your head rolls back and your eyes close.

Taking your intellect into account, I would also prefer you didn’t read the sports page, shave, brush your teeth, answer emails, or eat Chinese food with chopsticks. In fact, what are you doing driving at all? “Air guitarists” are either stoned or twelve year olds. Neither of which belong anywhere near me. That’s not true. If you’re stoned, you can be around me if you’re sharing, but not in the fucking car.

Are you stoned? Cuz I’m out again.

Call me.

JT

Wanna get high and listen to some Zeppelin? Go for it. But drop some weed off at JT’s first. Get directions at WTFWJTD@gmail.com.