Dear JT,

I think the movie Zoo about the Enumclaw horse-fucker was beautifully done and strangely haunting, but every time I bring it up around friends I feel like they think I’m secretly some kind of horse-fucker myself. How do you discuss art for its merits when the subject matter is so taboo?

“is Botticelli4Lyfe”

Dear is B4L,

I’m not sure what the significance of using Botticelli in your signature is, unless you’re alluding to this particular artist’s lifelong, extreme aversion to marriage. Something about it giving him night MARES. There were rumors his repulsion had more to do with a preference for boys, but that could have just been slander from jealous rivals. Whatever. Your entire pseudo intellectualism is lost on me.

Why do you portray yourself as a connoisseur of the fine arts, which screams notice me, I’m important, and then when we do you’re worried about what we think? How ’bout you speak of things that actually matter, instead of this homo-elitist liberal crap, and we won’t think of you as some fetish freak. Jesus, you’re as annoying as the critics.

OC Weekly: “tender beyond reason”

LA Times : “an elegant, eerily lyrical film”

Toronto Star: “gorgeously artful”

It’s a fucking horse fucking movie for christ’s sake. Tender beyond reason. Who says shit like that except self important, latte-sipping, New York Times-reading, Volvo-driving, anti-gun, effete, politically correct, tree hugging, arrogant liberals. God, I’m so glad I drive a Volkswagen sedan.

So, you think I could borrow the movie?

JT

Have any bestiality questions or self-aggrandizing comments? Don’t send them to WTFWJTD@gmail.com.