Dearest JT,

I missed Saturday Night Live this past weekend, but all I’m hearing on FB this week is Betty White this and Betty White that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Betty White, but she’s no Bea Arthur. That bitch had nice cans.

Can you explain the Betty White hype?

Thanks,

In a Maude Mood

Dear MM,

Fuck if I know what the deal is. I mean, I admit when she was offering everyone a taste of her muffin I was a little curious, but I’m not going to run around screaming I love sweet grandma muffin. You know I do. A great muffin is still a great muffin, but the way some of these people are carrying on you’d think they’ve never seen her use an oven before. It’s like what, three, four days later and still with the Betty, Betty, Betty.

Now Bea “Maude” Arthur, on the other hand. Fuck yes! You know a grandma with that kind of mouth knew a thing or two about muffins. A woman who tells you exactly what to put in, and how much. The right amount of heat and the proper duration. Everything clearly splayed out for you. You know what you’re eating up front and you either take it and goddamn fucking like it, or walk away and shut the fuck up.

What were we talking about again? I’m hungry.

JT

Did you know JT’s favorite song is “Stuffin’ Martha’s Muffin” by Mojo Nixon. Stick that in your piehole. WTFWJTD@gmail.com

And in case you missed it, A Tribute to Bea Arthur…

http://www.westseattlefunblog.com/entertainment/a-tribute-to-bea-arthur