Dear JT:

I’ve been purchasing Compact Discs since 1985. However, I still don’t know how to open the fucking things. I really want to listen to that new band “Ratt” but I can’t get the damn thing open. Help!

Old Skool

Dear OS,

This is more of a people problem, fake advice column, not a “how to” resource. Thus the title : What the Fuck Would JT Do? And JT would not be listening to a glam rock, hair metal band from the 80’s. Plus, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but technology has advanced in the last 25 years to where those of you who are packaging challenged do have alternative methods of acquiring music.

You know it’s 2010, right? Half of the Golden Girls are dead. Those are re-runs you’re watching. And besides, had you really wanted to, you could have chewed through that case by now. So what’s your deal? Lonely? Bored? Need me to know you listen to lame music and coincidently, are not very bright?

Although my moniker is somewhat similar to that WWJD dude, unlike him, I do not care nor love everyone. Buh-bye.

JT

What the fuck is wrong with you? No, really. WTFWJTD@gmail.com. I mean it.