WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February 14, 2012 (WSFB) – What Do You Do If Your Boyfriend’s Family Doesn’t Like You?

What do you do if your significant other’s (boyfriend’s) family doesn’t like you?

Bouncer:

Patronize them. That is, treat them like the emotionally fragile children that they are and act all nice and understanding in the face of their dislike for you. It’ll frustrate the shit out of them and they’ll totally hate it. It’ll be so awesome.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that care too much about what people think of them and those that don’t really give a flying shit. The less of a flying shit you give, the better off you are. Unfortunately, most people worry to much about what people think, and some people even take it to the extreme where they get devastated anytime someone says a single mean thing about them,

A lot of the girls I know would be better able to handle people saying mean things about them if they had spent a few years in middle or high school as a fat chick. No one grows thick skin like a fat chick. It’s probably from all that thick bacon she eats. But seriously, a fat chick is forced to learn to not let every little mean comment ruin her day. She also has to learn how to be funny and interesting, since otherwise people totally ignore and despise her. Oh, and she needs to learn how to give excellent blow jobs, or maybe that skill is just a natural by-product from stuffing so much food in your mouth, I’m not really sure.

But man, you get these chicks that have gone through life with everyone always telling them how awesome they are and they end up never having to develop several important social skills. These girls offer nothing but boring and insipid conversation, since they never had to learn to say something funny or clever because everyone has always hung on their every word because of their looks.

And you just watch out if someone is actually mean to them. I’m talking about really mean, not just fake mean like I am to everyone. (well except you, and you know who you are. No, not you. You! Ah, never mind…) You get these girls that are so fucking full of themselves and they feel so fucking special because everyone in the world is always telling how great they are, and suddenly, one person decides to say fuck it and say a bad thing about them, and these girl’s go ballisitic.

They act like this person left a horse head on their front lawn or something. They run off and delete their facebook account (again), they whine to everyone who will listen about how crazy and mean this person is (again), and they say how they are really worried and scared (again). But in reality, they are just suffering from nothing but hurt feelings because someone out there doesn’t actually like them and kiss their ass, only they never developed the ability to handle it like a normal person.

So if you can handle your significant other’s family disliking you, then I’d say that you just act all nice and Queen-like. Feel sorry for them, smile and understand how it must feel to have their son, brother, uncle, whatever to be showing so much attention on someone else. Take their jabs in stride and remember that it’s going to take a period of adjustment before they get used to the idea of him liking someone as much as he likes you. Nothing you do initially is going to win them over, you just need to hold your head up, avoid being dragged down into the mud with them with any petty squabbles, and bide your time. After a while, they’ll move on to new targets of opportunity and you’ll end up being accepted.

Of course, if you’re one of those bat-shit crazy girls who never had a bad word ever uttered against them, you’re going to do the opposite no matter what. You’re going to create tremendous drama about this. You’re going to post on facebook about it, you’re going to tell all your friends about, you’re going to recount every possibly mean thing that was said about you by anyone in the family. You’re going to fight with your boyfriend about it, likely cause you didn’t feel like he stuck up for you enough, and maybe you’ll even try and amplify the drama by breaking up with him over it.

Hopefully if you do this enough with enough boyfriends, you’ll learn not to care what people think. And ultimately, the secret to a happy and successful life involves flying shit and learning how not to give it.

Blonde:

So your future in-laws are a couple of judgmental, preaching fucks who hate you because you wear eyeliner? Is dad some fatty who never leaves the Lazy-boy and eats frozen fucking fish sticks all day? Mom’s an old prude who gets her wardrobe from those weird stores they put in to fill gaps in new shopping centers? The ones in which you can’t tell who they’re aimed toward. Maternity? No, wait. It would say maternity. Okay, big girls? No.. not big girls. Poor people? No, because the clothes are expensive. Old hippies? The kind of women that buy from infomercials? I’m stumped.

Or maybe it’s not the in-laws. Maybe it’s the brother or sister. Sister is mad because your man talked mad shit about you one time when you guys were on a “break”, and like girls do, is now holding it against you. Or maybe bro hates you because he’s the ugly sibling and he’s jealous that you’re hot. Maybe it’s Grandma. Maybe Grandma used to tell her kids to find sticks to beat them with and Grandma doesn’t like anyone. Maybe.. maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re a shitty person.

Whatever the case, there isn’t much you can do. Kissing their asses is going to look really fucking obvious to everyone, and all it does is come off as insincere and pussy-ish. Yes, pussy-ish. Being mean back won’t get you anywhere, either. It’ll throw your man in the middle, which is somewhere he doesn’t want to be. Unless the circumstances have anything to do with being naked and another chick.

One thing I would advise you to look out for, though, is your man’s reaction to all this. If his family’s distaste for you is unjust and unfair, does he stick up for you? If he sits there like a little idiot I would highly advise you to find someone new. That’s the type of guy that wouldn’t know what the fuck to do if someone was robbing your house and he was holding the bat.

Find more advice and submit your OWN questions here: Ask A Bouncer And A Blonde.