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Archive for ‘February, 2010’

Classifieds ~ For Sale: African Safari Package

Classifieds ~ For Sale: African Safari Package

For Sale: One African Safari package for two. My wife and I were going to take our dream trip to Africa next Spring, but the bitch left me for the referee in our son’s football leaugue. Go see wild cats rip the lifeblood out of piece of shit zebras. Will sell half of package to [...]

TwitterPornBots Continue To Lose Ground To Superior Human Twatters (BEST OF)

TwitterPornBots Continue To Lose Ground To Superior Human Twatters (BEST OF)

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, October 12, 2009 (WSFB) – Despite recent scientific advances the human race continues to gain significant ground in the epic twitter-battle currently underway on our Twitter page.
As of July 2009, TwitterPornBots had conquered actual humans in our twitter-realm in terms of followermanship. WSFB was the clear favorite among bots in and around [...]

WTFWJTD: You Just Qualified For Pole Position!

WTFWJTD: You Just Qualified For Pole Position!

Dear WTF:
Is it unethical to spike someone’s food with Viagra to get him interested in me?
Hungry for lovin’
Dear Hungry,
Absolutely. Not. Although, do you actually know any men who wouldn’t willingly take Viagra? Between the current street price and the number of über drunks in this crowd needing them, I would imagine they’re quite popular. And how [...]

Cyclist And Pedestrian Hunting Season Opens This Weekend (BEST OF)

Cyclist And Pedestrian Hunting Season Opens This Weekend (BEST OF)

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, October 14, 2009 (WSFB) – October is not only the month that heralds the beginning of drinking season but also brings open season for local cyclists and pedestrians.
As noted on a local website, you’re likely to be held unaccountable in the event you critically injure or kill a cyclist or pedestrian while [...]

CNN To Change Name To ACN, Anderson Cooper Network

CNN To Change Name To ACN, Anderson Cooper Network

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February, 17, 2010 (WSFB) – CNN, or Cable News Network, will soon be changing it’s name to the Anderson Cooper Network (ACN)  due to the increased popularity of its primary anchor, Anderson Cooper.  Along with the name change, the new ACN will shift coverage from world news events to stories only related [...]

Man Arrested For Trading Child For Office Chair (BEST OF)

Man Arrested For Trading Child For Office Chair (BEST OF)

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, January 1, 2010 (WSFB) – An Alki man has been arrested for child trafficking after offering to trade one of his sons for an office chair.
“Panama” Sam Pritchard was taken into custody by the West Seattle Police Department last Wednesday after posting an ad on Craigslist offering the deal.
“We were tipped by [...]

WTFWJTD: Every Tom, Harry and Dick (and all Johns) Would Pay For It

WTFWJTD: Every Tom, Harry and Dick (and all Johns) Would Pay For It

Dear JT,
I keep seeing Facebook friends join a group saying they don’t want to pay a $3.99 monthly fee. I like FB as much as the next fucktard (w sea celebrity, for example), but I’m not really sure how I feel about being charged. If they allowed porn, it’d be a no-brainer. Are you going [...]

“New Handshake” Ill-conceived (BEST OF)

“New Handshake” Ill-conceived (BEST OF)

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, December 31, 2009 (WSFB) – Earlier this fall, the West Seattle Funblog issued a community service piece aimed at better hygiene during the current near-pandemic pandemonium surrounding H1N1 (Swine Flu) as well as other forms of nastiness associated with deteriorating weather.
“The Hygienic FistBump” taught our readers of the relative cleanliness of the knuckles versus the [...]

Bigfoot Goes Wild Over Sasquatch Music Festival Lineup

Bigfoot Goes Wild Over Sasquatch Music Festival Lineup

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, February 17, 2010 (WSFB) – Some things in life are certain; the sun rises in the east, the sky is blue, our ocean’s are getting filthier by the day, dogs bark and at least one person from West Seattle will make the trip over Snoqualmie Pass to attend this year’s Sasquatch Music [...]

Local Man’s Employment Terminated After Tagging Photo Of Own Penis On Facebook (BEST OF)

Local Man’s Employment Terminated After Tagging Photo Of Own Penis On Facebook (BEST OF)

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, October 05, 2009 (WSFB) – A local man has been fired from his job after tagging a photo of his own penis on Facebook which was then seen by his boss and coworkers, all of whom were his friends on the popular social networking site.
“I made a mistake,” says Thorne Henkelsten. “I’d [...]

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