WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 07, 2009 (WSFB) – Local swimming officials had to contact the U.S. Coast Guard for assistance today in an effort to remove a swimmer from the waters just off Lincoln Park, as the swimmer was deemed a public health hazard and mostly just fat.
Local joggers reported the woman wading near Lincoln [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 07, 2009 (WSFBWCC) – A cinnamon bun purported to be the holy image of Mother Teresa has surfaced on the wrong side of Roxbury earlier today.
Ballard resident Arnþörr Folkvarør stopped into the Salvadorian Bakery to grab a snack after visiting White Center (for reasons that remain unclear)   and purchased the [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, August 06, 2009 (WSFBWCC) – Today we welcome a new sponsor, Asshats Unlimited, a White Center specialty hat maker located around the corner and down the alley from the tortilla plant. As always, we offer new sponsors the chance to tell you about their businesses, and here’s what Asshats Unlimited wants you [...]

Pyongyang, DPRK, August 04, 2009 (WSFB International Division) – Former U.S. President Bill Clinton apologized to the North Koreans today for “hostile acts” committed by two American journalists.
Hostile acts? You’ve got to be fucking kidding.
What about lobbing missiles at Japan or in the general direction of the Unites States? Those morons haven’t apologized for those [...]