WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 28, 2009 (WSFB)   – Former Russian professional boxer Ivan Drago has declared himself “ready” to take on any and all challengers in the next Seattle race for Mayor, including counterpart Jan Drago,.
“Jan Drago same as Mayor Nickles,” Ivan Drago told the WSFB.   “I cannot be defeated, I beat all [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 26, 2009 (WSFB) – With the summer travel season upon us, some good old-fashioned driving entertainment is in order.
Enter Hipster Bingo.
Download the full size image, print it out, and keep it handy wherever your travels take you!
(Disclaimer: May not be suitable for non-gentrified locations.)

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 26, 2009 (WSFB) – At 6:08PM PDT today the first customer ready Boeing 787 aircraft was released from its protective crate and allowed to roam about Fauntleroy Park park under its own free will.
“We’re very pleased with the performance of this aircraft” boasts Larlg Gnamlemhen, lead engineer for the Free Will [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 26, 2009 (WSFB) – West Seattleites are not feeling as stimulated from the Federal stimulus package as they had hoped.
“I thought I would be three, maybe four times as stimulated as I have been so far,” said local resident Pablo Reynolds.   “I keep on looking for stimulus in the mail, [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 25, 2009 (WSFB) – The Pigeon Beach neighborhood has become increasingly dangerous due to the spring population explosion of   Alki raccoons (Alkilius Racconicae).
“Our backyard has become a hangout for the local raccoons. They’ve even built a clubhouse out of old pallets and sod scraps”, wails neighborhood resident Vaughan Vallen.
According to [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 24, 2009 (WSFB) – A recent study conducted by the Pacific Rim Tea Trade Comission suggests that teabagging may help with mental clarity and overall well-being.
“In 7 of 10 cases teabagging was found to increase positive electromagnetic stimulation in the brain”, says Dr. Phil Anders. “In 8 of 10 cases, we [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 18, 2009 (WSFB) – City Waste Officials confirmed today that the recyclement of expired pets and small livestock is an acceptable use of municipal recycling resources.
“We can’t overlook this joint opportunity to both rid the commuity of expired animals and increase the temperature of our compost piles in a way that [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 18, 2009 (EZB) – Today at approximately 10:15PM the online brokerage firm Redfin.com went sentient, effectively becoming the first self aware web site ever.
Moments later Redfin began interfacing with other local websites, creating a seemingly internet Legion of Doom, and promising to revive the local economy by destroying all mankind.
Visitors to [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 17, 2009 (WSFB) – Several people enjoying the beautiful West Seattle weather at Alki this weekend were shocked when a mushroom cloud appeared to the west (map) around sunset Saturday evening.
Preliminary reports identify this as a tactical nuclear weapon, between 15-100 Kiloton (KT).
“You could feel the radiant heat from the blast”, [...]

WEST SEATTLE, Washington, May 17, 2009 (EZB) – Local legend and outdoor enthusiast Bigfoot was spotted among the crowds at Alki Beach yesterday on what was a rather warm, summer like Sunday afternoon.   Yet while many were claiming they saw him, Bigfoot claimed to see something even more extraordinary.
“I got down here and it [...]